You Failed/Lost/Got Rejected… Next move? 

Hey everyone. Today’s post is gonna be a bit different.

What Adventures Await You Today? Let Go Of Your Fear 😱 Of Failure, And Go Get Your Dreams ~ Karen Kostyla.

Yesterday, at around 7pm, I got some very disappointing news that crushed me. Now chill, it wasn’t thaat extreme; I just got a failure that I was not expecting.. AT ALL!

Failure / rejection / losing is part and parcel of life. If you think that you’ll die without experiencing one or all of those, then rethink. In the pursuit of your goals / dreams / ambitions especially, you ARE going to face this.
I’m not asking you if you want to fail; I’m telling you that..YOU WILL. At some point, you’ll fail at something (be it a school 🏫 test or a driving 🚗 test), or you’ll get rejected (be it at a job interview 👷 or in a relationship💏) or you’ll lose (maybe in a sport match🏀⚾⚽🎾 or a competition). Everyone does! What matters is how you handle it, and what move you make afterwards. Do you give up?

I’m going to use my current experience to give some tips on how to overcome failure / rejection / losing. Let’s get started :

PHASES
Now, between yesterday and right now, I’ve gone through two phases :

1. The ‘oh-my-gosh-my-life-is-over.I’m-a-dead-man-walking’ phase.

This one is intense 😂. You’ve just realized that you’ve been rejected / lost / failed. What happens? Well, you struggle to breath, your feet won’t move, your head starts spinning, your entire world collapses, you might give up on life for a few seconds (or more 😂); basically, you lose it for a little bit. You’re in shock, and you keep telling yourself, “I’m just dreaming. I’ll wake up and realize this is all one big nightmare. Just wait you see! ”

2. The ‘screw-this.I’m-to-good-for-this.I’ll-just-become-famous.Life-is-easier-that-way’ phase.   

Ha! 😂 well, this one is just funny. In my case, I had decided to take a flight ✈ to Hollywood and become a famous actress (silly, because, other than the obvious fact of competition, I can’t even act 😂).  Here, you feel that you’re too good to fail / be rejected / to lose. You feel that you worked way harder than anyone else, and that you don’t deserve to fail / lose. You decide that this platform is too ‘cheap’ for you, and so you start thinking of another easier / tougher channel to prove yourself.

Once you are out of those phases, (hopefully), the spirit of reasoning will come back to you (like it did to me), and you’ll see things more clearly.  

My next step is to highlight the four types of people that you’ll probably meet during this period, and lessons that each one of them will teach you. Again,, this is as per MY current experience. Let’s begin :

A) The ‘ah-so-what?It’s-not-the-end-of-life’ type.  

I hope that during such a time, this is one of the first people that you come across. Such will remind you that, these things happen..it’s life; but you are still alive, and that’s a greater gift. You still have another chance to try again, to make things right. You may not feel like it, but, really, it’s not the end of life.

Lessons learnt from this type of person : 

1. It’s Not The End Of Life.

I really want to emphasize that statement. It’s not the end of life. Worst case scenario? You try again tomorrow, and fail again, then you try again the next day, but this time, you get it right. Not so bad if you ask me. Point is, it’s not over yet. Don’t give up. Just get up, and try again.

2. Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself.

Look, what’s done is done. I know you feel crushed, and I’m not just saying that for the sake of it; I’m saying it because I’m feeling the same way right now, but there’s nothing you can do to change the past. Whether or not it was your fault, forgive yourself!

Take it easy. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Like the English men say,  it’s no use to cry over spilt milk.   Forget the past. Focus on the present, and the future.

B) The ‘I’m-so-sorry.I’m-here-if-you-need-me’ type.

This type of person is a blessing in disguise. Why did I say that? Well, because, honestly, if you’re a ‘softie’ like me 😂, you’ll probably cry every time that you talk to them, but deep down, they make you feel better. At some point, you might decide that you don’t want to talk to them anymore 😂. Again, why did I say that? Because, you’ll stand up one moment and feel like you’ve totally moved on and you no longer feel bad about the failure, but when you see or talk to this friend, you’ll feel upset 😂 again 😢 😂.

Lessons learnt from this type of person : 

3. Be Humble.

This is pretty important. You see, when this person starts saying the ‘sorry’, or ‘I’m here for you’ stuff, you start thinking, ‘oh my goodness! I actually failed. He / she is actually pitying me because I failed / lost / got rejected / whatever’.  There’s a way in which your ego is lowered, because you realize that you ACTUALLY failed.

It sorta hits you. You understand that, yes, you are special (you know, you are unique in your own way 😊), but you’re not so special / rich / smart / important / any other thing that you can think of, that you can’t fail / experience rejection / lose. In the end, you’re human. It’s okay to fail, to lose, or to be rejected.

4. Drown In Your Sadness A Little Bit.
You know how in the movies a character says to another, “you’re running away from your problems, and that won’t make anything better. You need to face them.” ? I think that applies here too. I’m not asking you to be all sad and upset for twenty weeks; what I mean is, do allow yourself to feel that sadness / disappointment for a bit, and drown in it for a little while.

People drown in sadness / disappointment differently. Some will sit and watch Netflix while eating a whole gallon of ice-cream. Others will listen to music. Others will choose to write. Even if you want to cry, watch a sappy romance movie and cry😢. As long as the method you choose doesn’t harm or endanger you or anyone around you, use it. My point is, you can’t act like it didn’t happen. Drown in it just a bit, and give yourself a little time, not more than a day. Then snap out of it, and move on.

5. Take Your Mind Off Things.

Once you’ve completed the step before this (4), you need to distract yourself. Don’t sit down and keep thinking about it. It won’t help. Yesterday, I chose to make an embarrassing video of me playing the Chicken Scream  game (that game is amazing 😂 🙌 You can watch the video on my instagram there 👈 BTW). It distracted me well enough for a while until I fell asleep.

Go out for lunch with friends. Go play your favorite sport. Watch a series / movie (my favorite! 🙌). Get busy with work. I’d prefer that you do something that brings you closer to your goals / dreams, but, basically, whatever you do, just keep yourself occupied.

6. Pray.

Now this one can be hard. It’s precisely why I asked my sister and a friend of mine to pray for me yesterday, because I really didn’t know what to say to God. I was sad and disappointed 😞. Truth is, you do need to seek God.

I once said that being a Christian doesn’t give you a freeway to have a smooth ride. No! You will face storms! However, don’t forget that your Maker sees you, and believe it or not, God’s got you 💪❤. Pray my friend, PRAY!

C) The ‘what?You’re-so-screwed.I’m-so-glad-that-I’m-not-you’ type.
I know what you’re thinking; ‘why would I want to meet with such a person?’ Well, unfortunately, you don’t get to choose who you cross paths with, and, though I hope that it doesn’t happen, this kind of person could find out that you failed / lost / got rejected. My advice? Avoid such people during this time, but if you do meet with them, don’t lose your calm. Be the bigger person.

Lessons learnt from this type of person :  

7.  Don’t Run Your Mouth Too Much.

Failure / rejection / losing is nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything, you should be proud of it, because it shows that you actually made the effort and tried 👏. That’s pretty huge.

Likewise, you never know how many people you inspire by sharing your story..I mean, c’mon, can we even count the number of people who have been inspired by Edison’s story of how many times he tried to invent the light bulb 💡, without giving up? (no! He inspired millions).  However, don’t run your mouth 👄 telling just anybody about it, especially now, when what you should be doing is trying to get things right.

Last thing you want is this type of person described above coming to you laughing, claiming that he / she ‘heard the story from his / her friends. ‘ Word spreads fast, my friend. Watch who you tell. 


D) The ‘Ah.I-feel-you.I-failed/got-rejected-too.We-should-quit-life-and-rob-banks-instead’ type.  

Save the best for last. This is probably my favorite type. Of course, you won’t quit in life and rob banks 😂 (that’s just a joke!)  but such people make you feel better instantly. You understand that you’re not alone. People are failing, getting rejected, losing in games / competitions all over the world; but while you’re there sitting your ass down and saying, “Oh well, people are probably giving up like me too anyway! “ , more than half of those people are getting up, dusting themselves off, moving on from the disappointment and trying again. Don’t be deceived! Get up. TRY AGAIN. Continue chasing after your goals / dreams!

Lessons learnt from this type of person :  

8. You’re Not Alone.

This one goes without saying. If you meet with someone going through the same thing as you, you stop holding the silly belief that the world is conspiring against you. You feel better, because you know that you aren’t the only one failing, and thus, you get the strength to try again / move on. It’s life!

You may not believe it, but it’s true. You aren’t the first or the last to ever fail, so take heart!

9. Find Your Happiness Again.  
Find what makes you happy. Before you learnt that you had failed / gotten rejected / lost, you were probably smiling or laughing 😁, in the best of places, then when you received the news, your mood change. Now, our mission is to get you back on that happy boat.

Do things that make you happy. Pursue your hobbies, take up your interests, surround yourself with people who find joy in the little things. Be Happy!  Like we said, it’s not the end of life. Find your happiness again, because in that happiness, you’ll find the strength to try again! 😃😊

So, all I’m trying to say is:

If you’re courageous enough to pursue your goals / dreams / ambitions / desire / interests / whatever it is, it means that you’re also tough / strong enough to overcome failure / rejection / losing / disappointment; you got this. Just don’t give up! 

It doesn’t get less painful / disappointing when, if it ever, happens again. All the same, everything will eventually fall into place. Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success. Likewise, it’s not the end of the world, it’s just the start. It’s not succeses that make us; it’s the failures / rejections / losing that builds us. Take it easy, and whatever you do, just DON’T GIVE UP! 💪

As usual, don’t forget to 👇 :

Enjoy your evening! 😊💕

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9 thoughts on “You Failed/Lost/Got Rejected… Next move? 

  1. Love this post girl! I’m sorry that you feel disappointed but I’m so glad that your are very strong and inspirational girl and are taking things in a positive way! Way to go sweetie ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My favorite blogger strikes again and scores! Well said well written. I’ve encountered a massive failure in recent times so I’m the D type of person to you today (let’s rob Ice-cream stores instead 😃😃).
    Brush off let’s push forward

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s so good to see a new post from you (Yes, I check every day). Anyway, your strength is going to take you places. I love this post and I love all the quotes. Keep it up. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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